so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
