one two three fourrrrnication!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize