In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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