don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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