with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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