I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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