Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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