dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
