I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
