i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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