Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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