I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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