Rock
Scissors
Fuck
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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