Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
