More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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