do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
