Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just forgot I was standing up.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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