he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
