You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize