I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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