What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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