No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
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We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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