kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
