oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize