Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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