Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"

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(704): You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs" http://tfl.nu/7byd

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(954): View more from Florida

i just sent this text using only my big toe

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(954): i just sent this text using only my big toe http://tfl.nu/upij

Replies (22) Good night (5902) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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(573): View more from Missouri

So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?

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(573): So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number? http://tfl.nu/mc1r

Replies (16) Good night (759) Bad night (4749) Order T-Shirt
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(410): View more from Maryland

She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.

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(410): She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible. http://tfl.nu/n7ul

Replies (18) Good night (5246) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
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(818): View more from California

They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...

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(818): They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps... http://tfl.nu/7lmv

Replies (15) Good night (2372) Bad night (4140) Order T-Shirt
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?

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(504): Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober? http://tfl.nu/e9ou

Replies (9) Good night (1060) Bad night (3067) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this

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(815): ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this http://tfl.nu/mfxc

Replies (11) Good night (4515) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt
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(862): View more from New Jersey

I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?

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(862): I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you? http://tfl.nu/xnnk

Replies (16) Good night (2268) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.

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(402): I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack. http://tfl.nu/jydf

Replies (6) Good night (2432) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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(906): View more from Michigan

Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.

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(906): Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work. http://tfl.nu/815e

Replies (13) Good night (930) Bad night (2687) Order T-Shirt
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(850): View more from Florida

Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.

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(850): Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made. http://tfl.nu/7051

Replies (5) Good night (1719) Bad night (402)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band

(312): View more from Illinois

Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume

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(402): Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band (312): Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume http://tfl.nu/sqqx

Replies (18) Good night (2653) Bad night (532)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth

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(701): This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth http://tfl.nu/r917

Replies (12) Good night (757) Bad night (457)
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(585): View more from New York

Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride

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(585): Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride http://tfl.nu/ym4t

Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (224)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.

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(404): Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want. http://tfl.nu/ce96

Replies (5) Good night (1678) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt

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