Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"

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  (407): So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur" http://tfl.nu/dru1
  Replies (12) Good night (1736) Bad night (831)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely

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  (317): it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely http://tfl.nu/75r5
  Replies (8) Good night (3943) Bad night (501)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Hookers taste better with whip cream

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Fair enough

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  (417): Hookers taste better with whip cream (816): Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too (417): Fair enough http://tfl.nu/svnz
  Replies (45) Good night (3966) Bad night (1223)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.

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  (727): You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on. http://tfl.nu/u7oz
  Replies (22) Good night (1122) Bad night (5153)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  There is too much vodka and too much dick.

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  (860): There is too much vodka and too much dick. http://tfl.nu/9jud
  Replies (25) Good night (3565) Bad night (1661)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go

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  (410): There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go http://tfl.nu/lquj
  Replies (1) Good night (2339) Bad night (674)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.

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  (843): I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes. http://tfl.nu/lhf2
  Replies (28) Good night (1113) Bad night (4104)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??

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  (518): i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in?? http://tfl.nu/j32d
  Replies (4) Good night (1565) Bad night (519)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!

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  (248): In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list! http://tfl.nu/ms7h
  Replies (20) Good night (1257) Bad night (469)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.

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  (248): Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/ylim
  Replies (3) Good night (1217) Bad night (494)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?

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  (423): This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean? http://tfl.nu/py5a
  Replies (5) Good night (436) Bad night (815)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.

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  (479): I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again. http://tfl.nu/tpxn
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (484)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.

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  (414): I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest. http://tfl.nu/z09j
  Replies (4) Good night (698) Bad night (265)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.

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  (305): No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen. http://tfl.nu/b2oj
  Replies (5) Good night (617) Bad night (192)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.

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  (717): went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won. http://tfl.nu/zieh
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (153)

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