I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
How drunk are you?