Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar. http://tfl.nu/e1r5
  Replies (7) Good night (656) Bad night (2150)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/5s3p
  Replies (19) Good night (973) Bad night (3323)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks http://tfl.nu/odpi
  Replies (19) Good night (1686) Bad night (4146)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me. http://tfl.nu/3y7i
  Replies (6) Good night (669) Bad night (4203)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yes but- 100% agreed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick? (1-617): Yes but- 100% agreed http://tfl.nu/cz25
  Replies (29) Good night (3720) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours. http://tfl.nu/gzj7
  Replies (5) Good night (5089) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it. http://tfl.nu/opf5
  Replies (14) Good night (2430) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity http://tfl.nu/9e9v
  Replies (9) Good night (2359) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold. http://tfl.nu/drpi
  Replies (6) Good night (1668) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I feel like everything in this room is sweating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): I feel like everything in this room is sweating http://tfl.nu/iaml
  Replies (2) Good night (797) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself. http://tfl.nu/tjqn
  Replies (14) Good night (1815) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted http://tfl.nu/o9wr
  Replies (5) Good night (1425) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear http://tfl.nu/jwyg
  Replies (6) Good night (1565) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen http://tfl.nu/i9fp
  Replies (1) Good night (843) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow http://tfl.nu/zlpp
  Replies (2) Good night (689) Bad night (483)

Randomize