You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I checked into jail on foursquare
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?