there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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