bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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