i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
