My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
