I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
