its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
