a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
