Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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