would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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