I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
