school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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