I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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