This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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