thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
