i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
