she looked like the before picture.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
