I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
