Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize