how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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