Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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