i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
