What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
