Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
