i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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