i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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