We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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