Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
