Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Randomize
