$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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