I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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