Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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