she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize