When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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