It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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