i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My feet surprised me
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