No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
