is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize