i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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