why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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