we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
