toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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